Friday, March 5, 2010

Lenny the Solidified Fruit Juice

After much deliberation, I've decided to call him Lenny. He has pretty humble beginnings, I guess. It was just another day that XeHatter and I threw our after-school responsibilities to the wind and went to get some McDonalds. I got Lenny. At that point, he was harmless fruit juice in a paper McDonalds cup, cheerily decorated with colorful images of a duck. I'm still uncertain of how this duck relates to McDonalds, but I guess we don't question such traditional things.

We put him in the back cup holder of my car and more or less forgot him. Lenny wasn't much for conversation. Then Christmas break went by, and Lenny spent two weeks untouched in my car. He leaked out of the bottom of his cup and began to rise up in the cup holder, threatening to drip over the edge. But he didn't. Out of morbid curiosity, I left him alone. I wanted to see how long it would take him to either spill over or evaporate or dissolve parts of my car.

About a month after Lenny's great cup escape, my mom noticed him in my car. She took the cup out and threw it away but, for reasons unknown, she didn't drain the liquid out. Perhaps Lenny was too charming to get rid of. Anyway, there he remained, until two days ago. I guess that's three or four months, give or take. It's been cold recently. I figured he wasn't evaporating because of that.

So, XeHatter and I were driving home and it sort of happened just like this:

"You know how when you leave melted cheese out it sort of grows a skin over the top?" this was XeHatter, I was driving and therefore completely unthinking.

"Yeah."

"I think the juice grew a skin."

It was good that we were at a red light, because I would have looked anyway. "Holy crap," I said, because there were telltale lumps on the top of the juice puddle.

"Ew," XeHatter said. Then she made some noises like she was either giggling or throwing up a little. I wasn't sure.

"Poke it," I said.

"I'm not touching it."

"Find something to put in it."

"Can I stick this penny in it?"

"Sure, what do I care? It's just a penny."

She dropped the penny in. It was followed by squeals. "It's sitting on the top of the skin!"

It was a good thing that this red light was lasting forever, because I would have looked anyway. "Holy crap. Put another one on there."

We did. "It looks like it has eyes."

"It looks like it has boobs."

XeHatter poked the penny. "Oh, my God. It's hard underneath the skin. I think it froze."

I poked one of the pennies and it stayed resolutely in place. It felt like solid ice underneath. "Holy crap."

I moved it around with my finger. The skin stretched. "Oh my God, you've got to move it around. You will not regret this feeling."

"I'm not moving it!" XeHatter made more gigglingvomiting noises.

I looked back at the cupholder. The skin had wrinkled around the penny when I'd moved it, but now it had smoothed out again. "It reformed."

"I know!" XeHatter exclaimed, curiously moving a penny. The light turned green. I looked away for a second and suddenly there was more shrieking. "OH MY GOD IT WENT UNDER THE SKIN!"

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" I demanded. "WHAT DID YOU DOOOOO?"

"I didn't mean to!" XeHatter gagged in the direction of my window.

"I think this is a great opportunity for scientific exploration," I said. "Unless it starts growing something, then I'm cleaning it out."

"Yes," XeHatter agreed. "That's too much."

So I decided to call it Lenny.